so it's been quite awhile since i've have a damn thing to say. i never know where to begin or what to say. i life has been a blur since i left Washington. i moved to Texas to start over. get my life on track and live a little. i made a lot of new friends. i loved it in texas, it was nice. the weather was just what i have been wanting for a very long time. i've learned to let go and be just friends if they are willing. and i've learned to let things happen no matter what's going on. now i moved on to tennessee to go to school since it was the best i could find for the field i wanted to go into. i'll be majoring in diesel techology with a minor in automotive technology. my courses with be roughtly 16 months long before i go for my AA with an addictional 9 months to achieve a better future for myself. life only gets you so far before you have to put the extra effort into it. it's time to grow up and face the music and enjoy what wonders life has to offer.

i never understood why it takes so long to look over an application! even after waiting a few days i get told to wait longer so they have time to look at them. argh

so it has taken me a few days (slowly) going through the thousands of pictures in which i have on my computer. i have been making folders for different groups of pictures. sometimes i wonder if it will ever end or not. deleted loads of copies (fun fun). everything deserves a place now. a new start and room for new ones. sometimes i wonder if i'm just full of myself! who really knows, but i think it's turning out to be nice to have things put in certain places for the sake of others.

so last night was a lot of fun. there was more people at neighbors than the night before expect for which none of whom i knew. i parked at the school garage and saw someone just standing around ( i half way thought about it). so later on about midnight-ish matt and i decided to go back to my truck where i had left my little shooters (a box of 5 smirnoff vodka ) because of that guy standing around. well anyways when we got there that guy wasn't there so we got into the truck and started drinking them with the coke chaser i had. by the time we had finish all but one ( still a little in a cup mixed with coke) a group of five undercovers came walking up to the truck. needless to say we got busted. so thet asked us if there was anymore, why we were doing it then they told us that it's a $103 ticket for drinking in public so they ran my driver license and told us not to do it again and let us go without a ticket. we got very lucky. as soon as they walked off we left and went back to neighbors. i'll never do that again!!!!!!!

i'm becoming lost and don't know where to start. i'm so close now, three weeks left......

everything seems like a blur. i think i'm getting sick, alll i do is sleep. when i am awake i keep looking for a job but right now i just don't know. i will find one it's just a matter of time. i asked for more hours at my part time job, we'll see how things turn out. i kinda of feel lost and don't know why!maybe i'm too stressed to really function right?

so i went out tonight for the first time since freak night. i had a blast. chrissy took lots of pictures over 1,000. it's a new scene; lots of new faces. anyways i'm thinking about going to another one next friday. plus i can't really see straight. fun fun

so i started going through my things in which half were still in boxes. i ran across my book of poems and pics.  got rid of half my clothes and still managed to have a shit ton left. still don't know what to do and time is tickin. 2 months left i can't wait to leave

my friend is getting married this friday and will be moving within a week to her new place. so as soon as she is settled i'm coming down there. just maybe yet

so it's been about 4 days now since the last time i saw him. i'm wondering where he went or if he's ok. i'm guessing he went down south to reese's but i can't call anymore since there's no phone. on top of that I-5 was shut down for a day or so ( don't know if it's open up yet) and his car sounds like it's going to die very soon. fun stuff.

my streets and parking lot is flooded. YAY!

so i just got my car back today. i missed how it handles. i can turn corners so easily now. it's nice for once. now i all i need to do is fix my truck so i can trade off days for different things. next step get into gear. we'll see what happens. i'm so tired! agh!

side note: thinking about taking a trip to Pennsylvania but not too sure. i still need time to think about. although my neighbor wants me to go to los vagas with him maybe i'll do that instead

 

crosses my fingers. just maybe i can get out of here still. it's time for a change start over and do the things i have been thing about and want to do.

i went out dancing and hung out with christine and matt. neighbors was a lot of fun. i had a few to drink but stayed sober. then the long ass drive  (not so fun) home after i drove christine to her parents house.i was very tried when i got home. slept a little then off to work. i decided to drink with my friends that night. i ended up drinking a little too much. not so cool. but over all a good night. but for some strange reason i don't sleep very much when i'm drunk. i'm still undicded about a few things but i don't know.

i need to go snowborading if i'm going to be this cold

it's my second day off and i had lost it yet. still trying to find where i can leave my cats when i move out of state until i get settled. not much going on but drunkenness.  i almost don't care to the point of everything around me except my living my life. it's kind of sad. i relationships and don't won't to deal people. wish i had my head together.

well the story goes nowhere so far. until i can figure out what is going through my head i'm struck. time needs to stop and rewind so there's more hours in the day so i can get things done. i wish i had one great job so i don't have to work as much as i do and still only barely living pay check to pay check. i can't wait 4 more months. that's it. i'm so gone this time

i have noticed that i have been more inclined not to interact with people so much with my mind always daydreaming of a place far from here. i might be planing on disappearing for awhile if everything goes well. we shall see!?!

all i can say right now is that my neighbors are hella cool and at some point i do need to go to bed. besides that i don't know what to do with myself in the mean time. any help?

i've come to the point why should it really matter? let the stress go and find a way to cut off what has not truly become the outcome i would have like. starting anew isn't so bad it's the letting go of past memories